Strong and Healthy

I want.. no I NEED to feel strong. We’ve been keeping busy the past few days, very typical for daWongs. But it’s felt differently this weekend. More intention, more observing and appreciating the moment, and more gratitude for the body I’ve been given.

I’M ALIVE! I’M HEALTHY! I am so very lucky… I have two legs that can walk and run, I have two lungs that I can fill to capacity. I have a strong mind…and…I have a strong chest. You don’t realize until you consciously, purposely focus on how foundational your pectoral muscles are for moving, reaching, lifting, pushing yourself to sit up, getting plastic wrap off the top of the refrigerator…

When can I paddle again?

The Queen Lili`uokalani Canoe Race is the world’s largest outrigger canoe race. The race is 18 miles – iron between Kailua and Honaunau on the big island of Hawaii. This crew of beautiful, strong wahine’s was from the 41st annual race in 2013… always held on Labor Day Weekend. I’ve been blessed and honored to have raced it twice.

This race represents so much to me: a strength I didn’t know I had, the long, wonderful hours of training, the bond between us that will bind us forever together in this special moment (by the way, that’s my warrior Lisa steering us), the support from our club, the love and encouragement from my husband, and… the blessing of my body that started and finished this race. I can close my eyes and still feel the palpable energy of 100 canoes with crews of 6 powerful women lined up at the ready. I can hear Jet-skis running back and forth like a lawnmower attempting to keep the strong, competitive, and committed behind imagined gates at a horse track. “Paddles up! Huki!”

When can I paddle again?

Tomorrow morning is surgery.

Breathing.

Whenever we start the car on our way to an adventure..a vacation, a day away, whatever… we take a selfie in the car and say, “It’s ADVENTURE TIME!” So on our way to jog/walk the Giants 5K today with Tom and my mom, we snapped our usual…

..and I had a thought. Tomorrow… is just another adventure. There really is nothing to be afraid of. I trust my doctor, and the miracle of modern medicine. There will be some pain inserting the IV, the wire, the radioactive solution. Pain. What is it? It just IS. So what…if I have to feel a little pain and be ALIVE, it’s rather a small sacrifice. I want to head into the hospital tomorrow with my husband by my side, and embrace the adventure. They will put me to sleep, and when I wake up.. this cancerous tumor will be gone. I can do this…it’s only the next step in this journey.

I’ve been paddling as much as I can, Tom and I went to the gym, last night we volunteered to escort the band to and from the football game, and today…we jog/walked the Giants 5K! I know I’ll be recovering and I’m not sure how long it will take. I really just want to know,

“When can I paddle again?”

Paddling.

.. the thought brings tears to my eyes. When can I paddle again? I need to be on the water.. I need to paddle.

“Honey, I don’t care if I have to put your butt in our 2-man (outrigger canoe- 2 seats) and paddle you around.. we WILL get on the water together.”

…again, some tears.